i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
