I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
