You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
