Pappa wants mamma naked
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
