That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
pray to the hookup gods
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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