Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
