At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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