Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
