the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just threw up on my dentist
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
