She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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