Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
