Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
