He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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