WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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