If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
