There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
