Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
