no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Drake has all the answers
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
