No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's blow job season.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
