Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
