Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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