think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
