Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
