By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
