Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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