i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
