We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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