people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
