dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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