Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
