3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
