All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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