carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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