At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
