This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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