did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
