i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I love having hate sex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
