So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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