Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
