Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
