How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
