Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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