so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
