So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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