He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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