She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
