Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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