Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
