Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
