one word: firstdatebathroomanal
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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